Quotes and jokes! - Page 5

capreycorn · 11-08-2008, 10:19 AM

raulduke · 11-08-2008, 10:29 AM

I really do need threads like this at times.

Swimming is a confusing sport, because sometimes you do it for fun, and other times you do it to not die. And when I’m swimming, sometimes I’m not sure which one it is. I gotta go by the outfit. Pants - uh oh. Bathing suit - okay. Naked - we’ll see. Should I be swimming faster, or am I getting laid?”

raulduke · 11-08-2008, 11:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by capreycorn

Hilarious. I love the Onion.

One of my old roommates had this clipping on his door for the entire semester, we all took to calling him "Gen. Bonkers".

I used to work at a pizza place where I tacked this up in the back.

"Everyone Involved In Pizza's Preparation, Delivery, Purchase Extremely High"

capreycorn · 11-08-2008, 05:02 PM

sister act uncut:
http://de.youtube.com/watch?v=jYq5JXOqyvg

undress in 7 seconds.
http://de.youtube.com/watch?v=wmxzAeBGrT4

pimp my ride..
http://de.youtube.com/watch?v=nF84FZyg-io

say no to dirt
http://de.youtube.com/watch?v=zaHtA89RHUQ

capreycorn · 11-08-2008, 05:21 PM

flamewars (not my thing)

rhythm · 11-09-2008, 12:33 PM

4 more of the same go to social groups ,lighten up LOL ,
loads a LOL there .
keep the balance
hope to c u comics there
thanks rhythmm .

raulduke · 11-09-2008, 12:39 PM

My belt holds up my pants and my pants have belt loops that hold up the belt. What the f@%k’s really goin on down there? Who is the real hero?

Oneness · 11-09-2008, 01:08 PM

Oneness · 11-09-2008, 01:10 PM

RSF · 11-09-2008, 03:12 PM

lol -- "FEAR", dunno? mayhaps FEARLESS?

---

An Illinois man left the snowballed streets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida. His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day. When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick e-mail.

Unable to find the scrap of paper on which he had written her e-mail address, he did his best to type it in from memory. Unfortunately, he missed one letter, and his note was directed instead to an elderly preacher's wife whose husband had passed away only the day before. When the grieving widow checked her e-mail, she took one look at the monitor, let out a piercing scream, and fell to the floor dead.

At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen:

Dearest Wife,

Just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow.

Your Loving Husband.

P.S. Sure is hot down here.

capreycorn · 11-09-2008, 05:37 PM

capreycorn · 11-09-2008, 05:51 PM

capreycorn · 11-09-2008, 05:54 PM

capreycorn · 11-09-2008, 07:14 PM

capreycorn · 11-09-2008, 08:10 PM

capreycorn · 11-09-2008, 08:53 PM

don`t worry .. be nappy
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oc0Dc2hA1HE

Reunite · 11-11-2008, 05:02 AM

Why are there only male pilots?

Cause they're in a cockpit not a box office

capreycorn · 11-11-2008, 07:51 AM

capreycorn · 11-14-2008, 03:02 PM

fuehrer rap

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pVpF4...eature=related

spongebob & goebbels
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=53EFN...eature=related

spongebob & mao
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6HIavxnUHls&NR=1

sponge bush
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9MJwE...eature=related

Jacqui D · 11-14-2008, 03:18 PM

Attachment 509

Antaletriangle · 11-14-2008, 11:16 PM

The Ladybird Book of The Policeman...

http://seorant.ath.cx/police/ladybird.html

Antaletriangle · 11-16-2008, 01:29 PM

Capreycorn i was just sliding down this thread fast i had some music on and hitler caught my eye booying away in rhythm to the music i was playing-quite funny!!

"Intellectuals solve problems, geniuses prevent them." Albert Einstein.

capreycorn · 11-16-2008, 02:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Antaletriangle

Capreycorn i was just sliding down this thread fast i had some music on and hitler caught my eye booying away in rhythm to the music i was playing-quite funny!!

"Intellectuals solve problems, geniuses prevent them." Albert Einstein.

I found the ladybird book of the policeman real neat...

music makes the "world" go round..?

Antaletriangle · 11-16-2008, 02:33 PM

That dancin' fella-i do that when i'm at the bar waitin' fer me beer to be served!!!lol!

Dantheman62 · 11-18-2008, 11:06 PM

Old fart Football
>
>
> An old married couple no sooner hit the pillows
>
> When the old man passes gas and says, 'Seven
> Points.'
>
>
>
> His wife rolls over and says, 'What in the world was
> that?'
>
> The old man replied, 'It's fart football..'
>
>
>
> A few minutes later his wife lets one go and says
> 'Touchdown, tie
>
> score.'
>
>
>
> After about five minutes the old man lets another one go
> and says,
>
> 'Aha. I'm ahead 14 to 7.'
>
> Not to be outdone the wife rips out another one and says,
>
> 'Touchdown, tie score.'
>
>
>
> Five seconds go by and she lets out a little squeaker and
> says,
>
> 'Field goal, I lead 17 to 14.' Now the pressure
> is on the old man.
>
>
>
> He refuses to get beaten by a woman, so he strains real
> hard.
>
> Since defeat is totally unacceptable, he gives it
> everything he's got,
>
>
>
> And accidentally craps in the bed.
>
>
>
> The wife says, 'What the hell was that?'
>
>
>
> The old man says, 'Half time, switch sides.'

11-08-2008, 10:19 AM	#101
capreycorn Avalon Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: switzerland Posts: 455	Re: Quotes and jokes!

11-08-2008, 10:29 AM	#102
raulduke Avalon Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: USA Posts: 454	Re: Quotes and jokes! I really do need threads like this at times. Swimming is a confusing sport, because sometimes you do it for fun, and other times you do it to not die. And when I’m swimming, sometimes I’m not sure which one it is. I gotta go by the outfit. Pants - uh oh. Bathing suit - okay. Naked - we’ll see. Should I be swimming faster, or am I getting laid?”

11-08-2008, 05:02 PM	#104
capreycorn Avalon Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: switzerland Posts: 455	Re: Quotes and jokes! sister act uncut: http://de.youtube.com/watch?v=jYq5JXOqyvg undress in 7 seconds. http://de.youtube.com/watch?v=wmxzAeBGrT4 pimp my ride.. http://de.youtube.com/watch?v=nF84FZyg-io say no to dirt http://de.youtube.com/watch?v=zaHtA89RHUQ

11-08-2008, 05:21 PM	#105
capreycorn Avalon Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: switzerland Posts: 455	Re: Quotes and jokes! flamewars (not my thing)

11-09-2008, 12:33 PM	#106
rhythm Avalon Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: devon england Posts: 1,905	Re: Quotes and jokes! 4 more of the same go to social groups ,lighten up LOL , loads a LOL there . keep the balance hope to c u comics there thanks rhythmm .

11-09-2008, 12:39 PM	#107
raulduke Avalon Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: USA Posts: 454	Re: Quotes and jokes! My belt holds up my pants and my pants have belt loops that hold up the belt. What the f@%k’s really goin on down there? Who is the real hero?

11-09-2008, 01:08 PM	#108
Oneness Avalon Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Eastern Pennsylvania,Scranton Posts: 95	Re: Quotes and jokes!

11-09-2008, 01:10 PM	#109
Oneness Avalon Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Eastern Pennsylvania,Scranton Posts: 95	Re: Quotes and jokes!

11-09-2008, 03:12 PM	#110
RSF Avalon Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Canada Posts: 226	Re: Quotes and jokes! lol -- "FEAR", dunno? mayhaps FEARLESS? --- An Illinois man left the snowballed streets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida. His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day. When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick e-mail. Unable to find the scrap of paper on which he had written her e-mail address, he did his best to type it in from memory. Unfortunately, he missed one letter, and his note was directed instead to an elderly preacher's wife whose husband had passed away only the day before. When the grieving widow checked her e-mail, she took one look at the monitor, let out a piercing scream, and fell to the floor dead. At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen: Dearest Wife, Just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Your Loving Husband. P.S. Sure is hot down here.

11-09-2008, 05:37 PM	#111
capreycorn Avalon Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: switzerland Posts: 455	Re: Quotes and jokes! Last edited by capreycorn; 11-09-2008 at 05:45 PM.

11-09-2008, 05:51 PM	#112
capreycorn Avalon Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: switzerland Posts: 455	Re: Quotes and jokes!

11-09-2008, 05:54 PM	#113
capreycorn Avalon Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: switzerland Posts: 455	Re: Quotes and jokes!

11-09-2008, 07:14 PM	#114
capreycorn Avalon Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: switzerland Posts: 455	Re: Quotes and jokes! Last edited by capreycorn; 11-09-2008 at 07:39 PM.

11-09-2008, 08:10 PM	#115
capreycorn Avalon Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: switzerland Posts: 455	Re: Quotes and jokes!

11-09-2008, 08:53 PM	#116
capreycorn Avalon Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: switzerland Posts: 455	Re: Quotes and jokes! don`t worry .. be nappy http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oc0Dc2hA1HE

11-11-2008, 05:02 AM	#117
Reunite Avalon Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Sydney, Australia Posts: 279	Re: Quotes and jokes! Why are there only male pilots? Cause they're in a cockpit not a box office

11-11-2008, 07:51 AM	#118
capreycorn Avalon Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: switzerland Posts: 455	Re: Quotes and jokes!

11-14-2008, 03:02 PM	#119
capreycorn Avalon Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: switzerland Posts: 455	Re: Quotes and jokes! fuehrer rap http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pVpF4...eature=related spongebob & goebbels http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=53EFN...eature=related spongebob & mao http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6HIavxnUHls&NR=1 sponge bush http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9MJwE...eature=related Last edited by capreycorn; 11-14-2008 at 03:33 PM.

11-14-2008, 03:18 PM	#120
Jacqui D Avalon Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Kent,England Posts: 1,267	Re: Quotes and jokes! Attachment 509 Last edited by Jacqui D; 11-14-2008 at 03:21 PM.

11-14-2008, 11:16 PM	#121
Antaletriangle Avalon Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: U.K. Posts: 3,380	Re: Quotes and jokes! The Ladybird Book of The Policeman... http://seorant.ath.cx/police/ladybird.html

11-16-2008, 01:29 PM	#122
Antaletriangle Avalon Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: U.K. Posts: 3,380	Re: Quotes and jokes! Capreycorn i was just sliding down this thread fast i had some music on and hitler caught my eye booying away in rhythm to the music i was playing-quite funny!! "Intellectuals solve problems, geniuses prevent them." Albert Einstein.

11-16-2008, 02:33 PM	#124
Antaletriangle Avalon Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: U.K. Posts: 3,380	Re: Quotes and jokes! That dancin' fella-i do that when i'm at the bar waitin' fer me beer to be served!!!lol!

11-18-2008, 11:06 PM	#125
Dantheman62 Avalon Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: So. Cal. U.S. Posts: 4,205	Re: Quotes and jokes! Old fart Football > > > An old married couple no sooner hit the pillows > > When the old man passes gas and says, 'Seven > Points.' > > > > His wife rolls over and says, 'What in the world was > that?' > > The old man replied, 'It's fart football..' > > > > A few minutes later his wife lets one go and says > 'Touchdown, tie > > score.' > > > > After about five minutes the old man lets another one go > and says, > > 'Aha. I'm ahead 14 to 7.' > > Not to be outdone the wife rips out another one and says, > > 'Touchdown, tie score.' > > > > Five seconds go by and she lets out a little squeaker and > says, > > 'Field goal, I lead 17 to 14.' Now the pressure > is on the old man. > > > > He refuses to get beaten by a woman, so he strains real > hard. > > Since defeat is totally unacceptable, he gives it > everything he's got, > > > > And accidentally craps in the bed. > > > > The wife says, 'What the hell was that?' > > > > The old man says, 'Half time, switch sides.'