[Buruso]

Hi Circlework
yeah i know that atatchment is part and parcel of any desire including the desire to be unatatched, it didn't take long to work that one out. I was part of a school that practised Advaita vedanta and we were trying to practise the idea of "not this not this" so any thought or emotion that would arise we would say that to ourselves to show that they were not who we are and see the transient nature of those things. after a while of doing that and not allowing the emotion to be expressed thats when the dullness and apathy started to appear. somewhere in the back of my mind and on a semi unconcious level the were supressed emotions attatched to an aspect of ego that felt denied. Now i try to practise the Eckhardt Tolle method of creating space around things, with that i try to feel into the experience with a kind of thoughtless knowing and usually the appropriate response arises

seeing my emotions and not acting them out i think has come from maturety and disernment, but my ego small buruso can be quite clever where i think i'm being higher minded when in fact hidden in that is the desire not to appear anti social or weak etc. so i act appropriatly in order for people to like me because my inner child is not feeling loved or approved of. anyway i think we are on the same page with how we deal with emotions ie: of it but not in it
I like to live dangerously by expiencing my emotion full on but having a safety button that can hopefully pull me back when needed

in the school we also practised TM and my expieriece caused me to see that the world is in me, i created my world by interpretations of my senses. there was a point where i would "click out" a kind of nothingness as there was no reference point to seperate me from all that is, the thing is though i would only know that once i came back to my rational mind.

I think emotion is a great tool to do inner work with a lot of our emotionally charged reactions come our multipal inner personalities ( vulnerable child, protector, good father etc, ) some of us had traumatic expierences as we were growing up and harbour insecurities that play out unconciously until the day we die, unless we wake up and try to integrate these shadow selves.
one of the ways to do this is to allow the emotion to play out until we come out the other side of it. usually we need a guide and a safe environment to help us through the expierence to become wholly integrated, light and dark it's all in us
cheers
buruso