It's sometimes like a marriage: someone pushes your buttons the wrong way, you push back, the argument starts heatedly. You keep talking until the sun goes down, if that's what it takes to smooth things out.
This only works if both sincerely want to smooth things out and don't have some other purpose (like pushing buttons and getting a reaction).
There are also some rules about expressing things in writing and I still need to learn about this. Sometimes I do not adequately convey my tone when I write something and it might come across as differently than the way I meant it to.
It seems that when writing one needs to put in extra flourishes, thus we have "lol" and smilies, etc.
love
,
Gnosis