[Gnosis5]

The truth about Hell:

"HELL EXPLAINED BY CHEMISTRY STUDENT

The following is an actual question given on a Washington State University

chemistry mid term.

The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it

with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the

pleasure of enjoying it as well :

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs

heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas

cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need

to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which

they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to

Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many

souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in

the world today.

Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion

you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and

since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that

all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect

the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the

rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in

order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume

of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter

Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell

breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell,

then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?


If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year

that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into

account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be

true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over

The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows

that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct.....

leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which

explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."