commencing at the tender age of four, i grew up experiencing physical, emotional, verbal abuse on a daily basis, never could i let down my guard, my imaginary shield would always be up waiting for the next go round
every night i would lay in bed and once again go through the process of wiping the slate clean in my mind, forgave all, forgave myself if i had contributed in any way to what i received ...
every morning i would wake up to a new day, whatever occurred the day prior was no longer with me, it was of the past, i so looked forward to the sun rising, the dew on the grass, fresh and new possibilities that day would bring for myself, for the world ...
i soon came to understand not all people were abusers and manipulators, that there were good, decent people who actually respected one another ...
those events made me who i am today, allowed me the connection i have with source, always was the universe my friend, the only one i could trust growing up ...
and now, i have found my place of indifference, neutral with these life experiences, they are done, the past cannnot be changed ...
now when someone asks about my past i reiterate that i am who i am in this moment because of the experiences of past moments ...
i have nothing more to add for them, i've found neutral, everything else is just a story, stories that fade daily, hardly do i remember them ...
ruff yes, but i believe from it all i am more normal because of it
