[TruthWillSetUFree]

I haven't thought of my childhood in so long, but after reading your post ampgod, my memories came flooding back to me.

I grew up with 7 brothers. As the only girl in my family you would expect I was spoiled. I think it may have started out that way when I was a little girl.
But you know, "Boys will be boys" and I remember I had to learn how to be a good fighter. My oldest brother used to pit me and my younger brother against each other in a fight to the death on the living room floor.
By high school my fights escalated to other girls and I considered myself a hippy/greaser. Hippy because of my free spirit not to conform, greaser because I was a rebel and loved to fight.
I never felt a part of my family being the only girl and would find ways to get out of being at home.

While my mom was very loving, she, bless her heart, loved me when I was being 'good', which was fast becoming a non-existent behavior of mine.
I never measured up to what she thought was good, so I thought why bother to try. My dad was always working and never around.

I was kicked out of religion class, had many fun detentions at school, where desks were known to fly out of the second story windows, and I owned the hallways of my high school.
My boyfriend had already graduated but had a very fine muscle car I rode around in or we hung out at the McDonald's with the other fast cars. My life was perfect.

Then we moved when I was 16 out of state, where I lost all my coolness, had no friends, and found the wrong kind of kids to hang out with, and had my first experience with drugs.
To make it an even more fun experience my father lost his job for 5 years. He was used to working 3 jobs to keep food on the table. We had ice in our toilets in the winter from lack of money to buy heating oil, and no Christmas presents under the tree for years.

In between times there was abuse.

Looking back, all these experiences formed who I am today. I never felt like a victim of life and my happy disposition helped me continue to try to make my life better.
One year I worked two jobs just to give my family a Christmas. I still remember them waking up on Christmas morning. I had Andy Williams playing "White Christmas", there was a fire in the fireplace and presents and stockings filled the room! The look on their faces was my gift.

So to answer your question, my life was rough, but rewarding. I have a very close relationship with my brothers and completed my karmic agreements with my mother before she died. In a family of all men, her and I were best friends. I truly felt there were no more tears to cry, no more laughs to share as we were able to experience all the ups and downs of our relationship, and honestly communicate past hurts and upsets, in the end there was only love.

I learned there is no easy life, there is only life, and it is what you make of it given what you get.

Thanks for your thought provoking question.