[Kelphi]

Gregor,

There is a way that seems right for a man but in the end leads to death.

Denying one's self to honor their father and mother is the first step to becoming a man.

All this math and mysticism can be endless and futile. Take a break and go against your grain and find a nice, unseemly, unpretentious, bible church in your area and get all your questions out and listen. Be patient, hear the whole equation out.