[Kituwa]

I am not sure where you get the blonde hair blue eye thing on mkultra victims. I am an mkultra victim myself and i have talked to a good many others and very few of them had light colored hair or eyes, in fact by far most have dark hair and eyes, myself included.Also most all of us are a good percentage of native american blood. Trauma based mind control involves totally breaking down a child to a vegitative state and i would think it wouldnt much matter what race you are, once broken to that degree we are all the same. It is obvious that they looked for certain bloodlines but the true reason for this i am not sure about. Was it certain traits or was it a DNA thing? DNA tests were not available at that time so maybe they looked for certain traits associated with bloodlines as it was the best they could do at the time.I did find on the net recently that a family member of mine had a DNA test done to do with bloodline stuff on my white half. Turned out i am directly decended from a well known scottish royalty line.I dont know if that was part of the reason they chose me or if it is just coincidence. I have fairly clear memories of part of the break down stuff they did to me starting at about 4 years of age. Always have remembered this, just didnt understand what it was until many years later.I have good memory of my past up until i was around 6 years old, then a total blank until i was in the 3rd grade. I have sent off for my public school records and they only start at 3rd grade, no record of any kind of 1st and second grade at all. As time goes on i remember more and more bits and pieces of things. Just last week i had some really strange memories that i think have a lot to do with how they went about creating my diffrent personalities. I will start a diffrent thread on that soon as i am getting off topic here.If you are getting most of your info on mkultra by reading what is on the net you may be getting a good bit of mis info as a lot of what i have read is off a good bit or misunderstood.I know a lot of the O'Brian stuff is kind of hard for me to buy. I believe she is being honest but i also think she is unknowing dis infoing a good bit without her knowing it. I dont believe there is any way anyone could have total recall of everything like she seems to think, it just dont work that way.When you are broken and programmed as a young child, and grow up that way, you are and never will be 'normal' again. There is no normal to go back to,you are what they made you. I have often wondered myself what kind of person i would be today if this had never happened to me.I cant even tell you witch personality of mine is the real me.Some of the personalities i am aware of and sort of know when a change is occuring and others i have no, or little memory of.Forget what you have seen about multiple personalities from movies like the 3 faces of eve , it just isnt like that, at least for mkultra types anyway.When i have one of the changes that i am aware of it is only noticable to my wife or a friends that is around me a lot, otherwise you would never know. The major personality shifts never happen in front of other people,its a built in thing for me to go off by myself when it happens.Major personality shifts do not happen by accedental triggers like you sometimes hear about. This i am absolutly positive about. Only my handler controls that.We are not loose canons that can go off by accedent, we are probobly more in control on that account than normal people are, just not 'our own' control.I am not even sure if i WANTED to take a life that i could do it unless it was instructed by a handler. This is why i get concerned when i hear other victims say they are not able to be controlled by their handler anymore. I do think there are things we can do to keep the handlers from having accesss to triggering us though and most other victims i have talked to already know what things to avoid.