[Christo888]

Apparently you have built yourself into what is called the "occult's prison," a life of loops with no way out because of indoctrinated beliefs (however they may have been created- real or perceived). You can keep the weight of the world if you want and very noble to do so, however, it also still remains with yourself to break out of that prison through discovering how to do so. And you have already started breaking out by beginning here amongst a very diverse group.

You certainly will not be at a loss for receiving information, support, and even attacks. Of which can provide many clues in burning up or transmuting energy. Deciding to keep holding the memories of this or past lives in an emotional charge will continue drawing in more of the same, thus a prison. Mentally exploding the belief loops and memories of experience that you no longer wish to keep living will open the escape route to either wiggle through or walk through. Either way disengageing yourself from an immobile stance begins the dissolving or transmuting of the impurities- whatever they may be.
And once a neutrality position can be seen or felt (the state of a petri-dish used to grow cultures) a new choice of program and life that you want can be inserted. A clean slate does wonders to the imagiation in dreaming up infinite potentials of realities to move into. You are totally forgiven (unlike our debt system in US) go and discover the components of the most awesome intent and purpose you would want for planet Earth, yourself and all humanity for the highest and best good of all.

Freeeeeeeedhhhhuuuuuuuummmmmmmm!!