i feel like many of you on here. i have been sucked into a maelstrom of searching for the truth.. but i didnt have a morpheus to show me how deep the rabbit hole goes. it goes as deep as you have the stamina to dig.
im running out of steam.. i agree so much w the poster that said most people have ambitions and hopes and have found "hapiness" in "slavery/control".
i've always felt like i've excelled when the going gets rough.. so i almost WANT a doomsday scenario so i can feel comfortable and in my element. but ive come to see this really clearly as i try to "awaken" people who dont want to be "awoke". they've invested a life into this, and i have things to lose. i'm such a bizzaro that i really took to heart tyler durdens "only when u lose everything are you free to do anything." and not being "part of the problem". but look at revolutions throughout history, always good intentions but get highjacked by people who can surf these waves of sentiments for greed and power. i may be selfish in certain ways but im so incompatible with greed and basically capitalism that i can no longer function in this system knowing what i know, but i also have a really difficult time convincing anyone of anything besides the fact that i am nuts.... because my brain is almost overloaded to capacity with loads of often contradictory tales of what the fu-- is really going on. its too late for the blue pill unfortunately, but i wish i had red pills to sell to my family and friends so i dont feel like such a psycho. my dad wouldnt prepare for the "coming economic collapse and martial law" so i bought a bunch of **** i couldnt afford to bring to my parents house. my life is a shambles and i actually hope this economic disaster happens so it levels the playing field cuz if not, i am just plain old screwed.. i will be a miserable recluse in the primitive foam of new york city forever
