I feel it a lot, too. The only people I know and can converse on these subjects with are my husband and one of my daughters.
I have 2 other daughters, one doesn't really want to hear any of it and the other gets it and can take a little, but they're busy beginning their lives (college, work, relationships) so I understand their attachment to this reality. When I was thier age and building my life, I wasn't interested in changing my reality either.
My sister lost her husband unexpectedly in February, his father in July and his sister is expected to die any day now (brain tumor). She has the general knowledge of this 'coruption' but to her the details are depressing and annoying. I've tried to make her understand that knowlegde/knowing is not depressing. Yes, facts can be disturbing (sometimes it took a day or two to assimilate and adjust to the new info) but who wants 'ignorance is bliss'? How can you know how important it is to act with love in all things if you don't know all the things you can?
I started my 'search for knowing' in July, 2007. It all started on a boring summer night, nothing on t.v. but reruns. I got on the web and thought 'I wonder what's new with the U.F.O. conspiracy?' I always knew they weren't telling us everything about that, but I had no idea of what I was opening myself up to. I ended up listening to lectures, interviews, documentaries, read some papers and books. I listened to researchers, journalists, engineers, physicists, doctors, a few politicians/preachers, witnesses...everybody! It was quickly clear to me that the only way I could develope my understanding/truth was to listen to as many perspectives as I could. I've calculated that I've probablly spent over 2000 hours at this point in my search to understand. This is nothing compared to the time these people spent, some of them-years of their lives, to research these subjects so they could pass the information on to people like me. I'm very grateful to them for that because there's no way I could know this much by myself.
So, now I find myself with one foot in one reality and one in the other, trying to keep my balance. I know the love, tolerance and understanding I put out is the most important thing I have to contribute so I try to keep that focus. But I do feel a gulf of separation on awareness with the people I work with, friends I talk to. I'm not of their world and they're not of mine...yet.
When I'm feeling unmotivated, I work on my art. It makes me happy to create and I contemplate deeply when I'm 'in the zone'. I keep putting out the good/positive energy even though I don't know who's out there picking it up, because it doesn't matter who gets it, only that I put it out there. And when I have the opportunity, I speak the truth that I know. Sometimes it falls on deaf ears but I think sometimes I plant a seed. I hope!
I hope I love I dream I care....I'm grateful!
And I'm not unaware anymore...
Oh yea, wierd stuff....my husband, daughter and I - all noticing weird/different little things...are any of you having interupted sleep as well?
p.s. I am also grateful to find 'abby normal' folks here, loving you all!
