[Jacqui D]

I have neither the finances or the means to move right now one part of me is saying you must do what you feel is right, then my heart is saying what about your family!
i am lost at the moment and do not know which way to go.
I have to think about my pets also i can't just leave them.
This is so hard!!!
I have been through this so many times in my head, i thought i had it sorted but i am being bombarded i feel by a negative force, trying to stop me.

I'm such a softie, i can be easilly persuaded i think, but i must be strong, i have decided that i will make that leap to the higher level, i do not wish to continue on the cycle of birth and death.

I am disconnected from the Matrix so to speak and have been for a while but i find this family thing very hard.
I've had a terrible 2 years, i have been rediculed by a family member someone very close to me in fact it tore the family apart and i came off the worse.
I made my mind up then that i would have to go it alone and this was my destiny, the whole tragic 2 years i have just been through was a kind of lesson for me it was a detachment it gave me scope to see things.

But the love i carry for my kids still runs very deep any mother will tell you that it's hard no matter what has happened between a mother and her children.