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BenZadok · 09-25-2008, 02:18 PM

Bill and Kerry (and Avalon) have felt like a beacon of light in a dark place.

I wonder that, because of this, some are beginning to put them (including the moderators) in the place of being their Source. I find that it easy for me to do this as well.

I find that if I have a deep, viseral, critical reaction to what another thinks or says, or does, that such a moment is a mirror to me as to who I am ultimately looking to as my Source.

I grew up in what I call a very "man-centered religion". My concern is that Avalon is susceptible to morphing into this slowly over time, with Bill and Kerry being esteemed as the "pastors", the moderators as the "deacons", and Avalon Forum as the "church".

I ask Bill and Kerry and the moderators to consider the possibility if the exhaustion comes, at least in part, from allowing the pressure of a few, who want you to be their "Source", to subtly seep into your consciousness.

It is not an either/or when I try to discern my motives in a matter. It is fuzzy terrain. I understand that there is a season to everything. A season to work your @#% off, and a season to refrain from all such activity. It is a clarity that can only be discerned within each.

I want you (Bill, Kerry, and the moderators) to know that if you back away from putting so many hours into the Avalon Forum, so that a consequence is that emails are left unanswered, that key world events are left unexposed, that the profound insights of others are left incognito, that the forum starts to unravel, I want you to know that that is OK with me. Sure, I could be disappointed at times, but it does not touch my Source who is peace, who is light, who is my teacher, who is my guide.

I think that the victim mentality, that pervades this culture (that wants someone to rescue them, pushing away personal responsibility), can readily filter into places like the Avalon Forum. Why? Because people are people. We are all in process.

I can recall times in my path where my heart dependence was more towards people than my Source. It takes a long time to shift, especially if one was "hammered" when young. And even now, if I am not centered in the One who is Completeness and Love and Peace, I can readily shift back to that misplaced dependency.

Part of love is to not let others look to you as a source. Let us feel the growth pains, even if we complain, whine, or express "righteous indignation". The Source knows how to deal with our tyrades (sp?).

I am sad that the moderators are working through the night. My desire is that they sleep well every night.

With Love.

09-25-2008, 02:18 PM	#93
BenZadok Avalon Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Eugene, Oregon Posts: 3	Re: Goodbye Avolon Bill and Kerry (and Avalon) have felt like a beacon of light in a dark place. I wonder that, because of this, some are beginning to put them (including the moderators) in the place of being their Source. I find that it easy for me to do this as well. I find that if I have a deep, viseral, critical reaction to what another thinks or says, or does, that such a moment is a mirror to me as to who I am ultimately looking to as my Source. I grew up in what I call a very "man-centered religion". My concern is that Avalon is susceptible to morphing into this slowly over time, with Bill and Kerry being esteemed as the "pastors", the moderators as the "deacons", and Avalon Forum as the "church". I ask Bill and Kerry and the moderators to consider the possibility if the exhaustion comes, at least in part, from allowing the pressure of a few, who want you to be their "Source", to subtly seep into your consciousness. It is not an either/or when I try to discern my motives in a matter. It is fuzzy terrain. I understand that there is a season to everything. A season to work your @#% off, and a season to refrain from all such activity. It is a clarity that can only be discerned within each. I want you (Bill, Kerry, and the moderators) to know that if you back away from putting so many hours into the Avalon Forum, so that a consequence is that emails are left unanswered, that key world events are left unexposed, that the profound insights of others are left incognito, that the forum starts to unravel, I want you to know that that is OK with me. Sure, I could be disappointed at times, but it does not touch my Source who is peace, who is light, who is my teacher, who is my guide. I think that the victim mentality, that pervades this culture (that wants someone to rescue them, pushing away personal responsibility), can readily filter into places like the Avalon Forum. Why? Because people are people. We are all in process. I can recall times in my path where my heart dependence was more towards people than my Source. It takes a long time to shift, especially if one was "hammered" when young. And even now, if I am not centered in the One who is Completeness and Love and Peace, I can readily shift back to that misplaced dependency. Part of love is to not let others look to you as a source. Let us feel the growth pains, even if we complain, whine, or express "righteous indignation". The Source knows how to deal with our tyrades (sp?). I am sad that the moderators are working through the night. My desire is that they sleep well every night. With Love.