[dagon]

I would love nothing more than to stay in a positive threads, but let face it lots of negative out there. all over the world. not just here. I want to feel the love your all talking about. but its hard when our water is not what it should be or our food. and what were doing as a whole on this rock floating in space. I se so much injustice. I want to heal. I would love nothing more than to just block out all the fear and negative thinking. but its like I once heard. I just cant pretend everything is ok. its not. I cant stand what I see to be honest. and I guess Im just suposto pretend it doesn't exist. that were killing each other, and draining the planet of its life source. living out of balance with nature, being controlled by the social engineers, its a hard place to be. Im currently looking at this and having a hard time with it. some friends of mine are really down on my for pointing out some of this, like please dont get the flue shot, or take a look at these medical journals on fluoride, and look what it is and how its being used, thinking its a positive thing. but not received as such to the general public. fear .. yes fear, just lost a good friend over it. pissing me off. good dive partner. thinks im a nut for believing in ufos.. LOL ... waste of time. maybe? not really sure yet. but it does hurt me. wish I could find the balance. Im very miss understood. I care to much. I cant stand looking at the masses swallowing democracy as its being implemented. and sold on meds and false ideals. covering the planet with concrete and paint. polluting the waters killing the life in all the creeks that were teeming with life when i was a kid. nothing lives there any longer. deforestation. I had a vision once once as a young man of 16. I was in a native American ritual with a fire and dance, it was night time, I was wide awake but it seemed I was really there. and they were chanting or singing. and this ritual was to pay homage to the earth. and it was about oil. the planet needed it. for its function. and it wasn't ours to just take endlessly. now mind you. I didn't have any connection to native american rituals or social structures at this time. I knew nothing but what was thought in school. it affected me greatly.

I know some say its the way its suposto be right, what can you do about it. is what I am always told. just work on your career. put your head down and work. I just don't get it. I dont have a problem with work. I work harder than most. but I know thats not what its all about. we been hijacked. and yes Im mad as heck. life is good. Im not going hungry yet. and the power is still on. I do se change coming. clearer than ever. everything runs in patterns and cycles. and the bacteria Colline has peaked. I digressed. I hope im staying on topic. I been here for almost 2 yeas now and dont post to often. some stuff is way out there. some times I just need to vent or put something out. helps me see things in a different light bringing it to the public light. but to rap this up. I have been accused of being negative. and lost friends cuz of it. and well some of it does come from places like this.

I keep thinking of quitting my job and volunteering to haitti relief or something. just to get out of the rat race and make a difference, see the world from different eyes than from american eyes, Im diffidently on the wrong planet. and haven't found my tribe yet.

I dont live in fear. but you bring these subjects up and it does instill fear in others. its just the facts, look around and look outside yourself. as a whole we are out of ballance way out of ballance. as am I. wish to find it.

im chatty tonight forgive me. I dont like being negative. wish to heal this