[greybeard]

Dr David Hawkins had blissfull expeiences as a teenager yet became an athiest because the total suffering of mankind throughout all of history was revealed to him. He could not believe in a God who created suffering.

He hit rock bottom and in the depth of his personal hell cried out "If there is a God I ask him to save me" He says that the thought of passing Arkangel lifted him from that place into the enlightened state.

In that state he knew that God did not create suffering, God is LOVE, the ego created suffering.
Through having free will we got led away from our Creator.
95% of the history of the human race is one of conflict, through our ignorance we have created a nightmare. We are now comiing out of it bepole are becoming spiritually awakened.
Jesus on the cross said. "God forgive them for they know not what they do"
With that we are forgiven too.
We have been spiritually asleep, if we knew better we would have done better.
The ego is not an enemy, just self serving, so to be looked on with compassion

I think most seekers go through dark nights of the soul, seeking is not easy.

Anyway I hope this helps.

Chris