Quote:
Originally Posted by yellowcosmicseed
I believe that the divine plan is boring and worthless.
(I do suffer from affects of child neglect/abuse and am suspected to be on the autistic spectrum and I want to know if this is a factor to why I have been having the ponderings/conclusions/feelings that I have recorded here.)
Everything began with nothingness/nonexistence (empty space), and then this became aware of itself and it manifested the great I AM. This led to the manifestation of all things that could possibly exist. This was accomplished through the appearance of light and vibration. Everything is made of vibration, and vibration is formless. This is how something comes out of nothing, the nothing uses vibration (made of formlessness) and condenses it to make something. So form is only merely the movement that lingers in the infinitive expanse of space/nonexistence. The purpose of the creation of form is for the 'One' to disidentify itself from all labels and things to go back to the peace state of 'Nonexistence'. Evil, suffering, and trial is used to progress the One back to the Peace state.
This is when I get depressed. Our existence is meant only to experience and combat evil?
............
Nothing should exist, but the truth is:
everything and nothing exists and does not exist at the same time.
After all these realizations I am still depressed. I even have very very convincing evidence of the existence of past lives but I am still depressed. (side note: the abuse that occurred to me occurred in a past life, my father is much better in this life. but me and my father still carry on the effects of abuse laid on both of us. oh the agony...)
i am VERY SORRY for my negativity and let down. i should have posted this on GODLIKEPRODUCTIONS, not AVALON.
 |
I agree on the boring part but no one can say if it is worthless or not.
What makes you think everything began as you describe it? Is this from inside of you or is it one of many believes other people have? Perhaps some "scientific" way, from theoretical physicist, that themselves claim, they do not know what they do? And...you or others or "science"...what makes you so sure that is how it happened?
Everything you build upon this base of "begging" is very...shaky. The same goes for your "depression". It might be just as "fake" as your perception of how things are.
If the what you believe is the problem...it might help you to simply change your believes. If you can not do that...then there is nothing much to be said.
If you do not wish to "battle evil", than simply choose not to battle evil
If you are afraid you will miss the point and purpose in your life...do not be...you might have already missed both.
You being sorry is a waste of time...
I myself have a "similar" problem. I wish to see how far can I implement the concept of free will without binding myself to any "rules". Since most things are based on the concept of free will (including some of the "advices" I gave you) I am somehow "challenging" it...but it is another topic.
About the child abuse: live with it, it is far from easy, I know (I have to)
take care
take risks