Quote:
Originally Posted by WarriorServant
Well, I have most certainly been attacked. I could also go on about how I have been attacked in life (but that would just sound like a hard luck story, and I'm off it). And the confusion? Well, BRAVO! They've done a FANTASTIC job! 5 stars! I am WELL confused. But, I still refuse to latch onto conclusions -- because I know that if I do, I will be restricted. I KNOW there's some important stuff that I know, but I can't quite access it. I get flashes and images, and I KNOW there's something there but I can't quite see it. I KNOW there's something "about me", "around me", and sometimes I get a sniff.. but I lose it a second later.
You know what I wish? And I have prayed for? I want some wisdom / education from someone that is not human. I have learned all I can from humans. I was a child and I respected adults and I asked a MILLION questions. I remember. My parents told me to shut up! Stop asking so many questions. Then I went to school and I was SHATTERED! I COULDN'T STAND that place! I got sent out of the class on a daily basis. By the time I got to highschool, I just never went. For that reason, I have little to no formal education besides primary school and a little bit of highscool.
I was upset because there was no one left to look up to. I came to the realization that everyone had limitations. No one had answers. I grew up so fast and understood everything so early -- and then there was no one. No one to explain the questions that I had -- and they were endless. By the time I hit my teens I looked at most adults like they were just stupid. That's why I never listened in school. I wanted MORE!
I still want more. I am in my 30's now and I am STILL asking questions. I am STILL learning. I am STILL running at a million miles an hour and in my head I am {{{{SCREAMING}}}} .. "IS THIS ALL THERE IS???"...
If I have ANY talent. If I have ANY gift. It is totally wasted in this putrid, horrid, horrible place where no one gives a flying rats **** about anything that isn't happening in their own little bubble. I feel deserted on an island -- and to be quite frank, I'm "NOT IMPRESSED"!
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There is not a whole lot you've said here..that I do not agree to, and have had experience in many of these areas. Especially the part about something being right at your finger tips...but can't quite reach. It's frustrating indeed. In fact that is the area I happen to be working on on a personal level.
Trust me when I say this. They are after you for your talent and what you can bring to the table. And weather you believe it or not, you probably have it within you to control them at some level. Have you thought about it in those terms?