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TraineeHuman · 11-27-2009, 07:43 AM

One thing I've seen, Worm, in a lot of people who start on meditation or self-observation is the following. They become much, much more sensitive to and aware of negativity or their own "dark side". May I suggest that that is a very positive step, however much it may seem the opposite. All the more so when we consider that you've had the insight that it's your own negativity, or your own willingness to (apparently, for now) take in more negativity.

In my experience, it's usually necessary to be willing to temporarily go through some pain in order to progress further. I've seen people have amazing breakthroughs in psychotherapeutic insight -- or, as I should say, just in knowing themselves more deeply than before. Then the person doesn't take the next step,which is to act on that insight. And then much of its potential for transforming their life eventually gets lost. And in your case at present, there's certainly the pain of finding yourself "back" at being apparently overwhelmed by negativity and fear. The funny thing about such pain is that as soon as you're truly willing to surrender to it fully and totally accept yourself and your life as OK even with the pain being present, it vanishes. It dissolves, never to return -- as far as that particular issue is concerned. Certain types of pain are simply the prison bars on our own life. But we dissolve them. Yes, you do have Xray vision, so to speak. (Pardon the cliches etc.) So you've got to keep getting out of your comfort zones, from now on and for the rest of your life. We all need to. Then life does become more interesting, more "exciting" in a wholesome sense of that word.

So like a number of the people above I'd encourage you to keep watching yourself and accepting that what is is. You ultimately have no option but to accept yourself however you may be. And it would seem that now you have found plenty of material about yourself that you can observe. Also, the "ego" is a living thing inside you that comes out and challenges you whenever you take genuine steps to become more aware. It knows it is fighting for its life (partially, at least), so it comes out fighting like a tiger. It knows your "buttons" better than you do. Ironically, though, it gets killed by TLC, as the above video by the Buddhist man is saying. The more you can learn to accept that your "ego" or "dark side" is totally and fully part of you, and the more you can truly like yourself and accept yourself with all those warts -- the more your "dark side" will eventually diminish and disappear. In the meanwhile, it will seem to grow bigger. But that is partly an illusion and partly because now it's starting to fight for its life, which it didn't have to before.

May I also take the liberty to suggest that you now need to do whatever is necessary to get back into the habit of doing some meditation every day? As far as I understand, the chief value of meditation for almost everyone is that it enables you to bear the scars and the slings and arrows of daily life much better. You really need a daily dose of "pure positivity", which is what meditation brings. We all need it daily. But doesn't it seem at least very plausible that to give yourself a hefty daily "shot" of genuine, high-strength positivity is the natural antidote to being or feeling overwhelmed by the negativity around you?

11-27-2009, 07:43 AM	#20
TraineeHuman Avalon Senior Member Join Date: May 2009 Location: Sydney, Australia Posts: 174	Re: How to cope with negativity; One thing I've seen, Worm, in a lot of people who start on meditation or self-observation is the following. They become much, much more sensitive to and aware of negativity or their own "dark side". May I suggest that that is a very positive step, however much it may seem the opposite. All the more so when we consider that you've had the insight that it's your own negativity, or your own willingness to (apparently, for now) take in more negativity. In my experience, it's usually necessary to be willing to temporarily go through some pain in order to progress further. I've seen people have amazing breakthroughs in psychotherapeutic insight -- or, as I should say, just in knowing themselves more deeply than before. Then the person doesn't take the next step,which is to act on that insight. And then much of its potential for transforming their life eventually gets lost. And in your case at present, there's certainly the pain of finding yourself "back" at being apparently overwhelmed by negativity and fear. The funny thing about such pain is that as soon as you're truly willing to surrender to it fully and totally accept yourself and your life as OK even with the pain being present, it vanishes. It dissolves, never to return -- as far as that particular issue is concerned. Certain types of pain are simply the prison bars on our own life. But we dissolve them. Yes, you do have Xray vision, so to speak. (Pardon the cliches etc.) So you've got to keep getting out of your comfort zones, from now on and for the rest of your life. We all need to. Then life does become more interesting, more "exciting" in a wholesome sense of that word. So like a number of the people above I'd encourage you to keep watching yourself and accepting that what is is. You ultimately have no option but to accept yourself however you may be. And it would seem that now you have found plenty of material about yourself that you can observe. Also, the "ego" is a living thing inside you that comes out and challenges you whenever you take genuine steps to become more aware. It knows it is fighting for its life (partially, at least), so it comes out fighting like a tiger. It knows your "buttons" better than you do. Ironically, though, it gets killed by TLC, as the above video by the Buddhist man is saying. The more you can learn to accept that your "ego" or "dark side" is totally and fully part of you, and the more you can truly like yourself and accept yourself with all those warts -- the more your "dark side" will eventually diminish and disappear. In the meanwhile, it will seem to grow bigger. But that is partly an illusion and partly because now it's starting to fight for its life, which it didn't have to before. May I also take the liberty to suggest that you now need to do whatever is necessary to get back into the habit of doing some meditation every day? As far as I understand, the chief value of meditation for almost everyone is that it enables you to bear the scars and the slings and arrows of daily life much better. You really need a daily dose of "pure positivity", which is what meditation brings. We all need it daily. But doesn't it seem at least very plausible that to give yourself a hefty daily "shot" of genuine, high-strength positivity is the natural antidote to being or feeling overwhelmed by the negativity around you?