The jokes I have aren't fit for this forum, hence me not posting here.....yet. So, to break my personal laugh drought, I'll serve you with what transpired to be rather hilarious after the fact. It really wasn't at the time!
I awoke in a foul mood for one or another reason, very possibly due to work pressure. Off I went to work and had to do follow up n an off-site crew via telephone. I dialed the number and when the phone was answered could hear what sounded like a full on party going on in the background, this at 9:30 in the morning?(Oh yes, it was via mobile phone).
When R answered I barked out "Where the hell are you, I have been trying the site office with no response, you know the deadline we are up against and we have to submit that report this morning."
"Sorry Larney (a term for boss), but I am sick today so I am in bed"
"SICK !!! If you are (expletives removed) sick, then I'm a frigging frenchmans uncle, get your lazy bum to the office right now and I will be there in 45 minutes, I am leaving now. If you aren't there when I get there, then don't bother coming back to work. What the hell is going on there, it sounds like you're having a frigging party !!!"
With that, I cut the call off hopped in the vehicle and went to site. When I got there, everything was going smooth as silk and the person I had spoken to asked why my phone was engaged, he had been trying to get the info to me all morning for the up-coming meeting!!! The poor guy had been at work the whole time, I had dialled the wrong number and got someone else with the same name on the phone who was bunking work. I bet he was shocked to get to work to find out nobody from his place of employ had phoned him !!!!
It didn't end there. I duly left site went back to the office and needed to phone home. This time on the land line. The day hadn't improved for me and I was still running a short fuse. I dial and the youngster answers. Now you need to understand that I was busy trying to get the one young-un to stop his nasal pasage talking. SO !!! When he answered the phone and was whining I really lost it (bad daddy I know, shame on me) and freaked out at him for answering the phone and not speaking in a fashion whereby I could understand what he was saying. The poor lad burst out crying and was terribly distraught and started wailing for Mommy. Well, you can imagine my surprise when "Mommy" turned out to be a total stranger !!! I had dialed the wrong number AGAIN !!!! Hoo boy, you bet I hung up very quickly without so much as a sorry, wrong number !!!
Z