Hello All.
Thank you Hogosha and lawlessline for your responses (I have pmed lawlessline).
I was a bit worried when I dozed off that this thread would get more responses when I woke up. I''m glad its like this. This was something I felt I had to do, and sounding freaked out was the only way I could put it. I cannot go tell a therapist. There is no one to tell. I know you are strong people. I feel better. Thank you all.
Amyways, I did answer the question, why did my quake not go through (because a broadcasted quake on the net would have gotten alot of traffic and questions! I considered this but overestimated their desperation in the end thinking they would still do it. I think they wish they had. They do.)
I have zero fear of death. Obviously, that has been on my mind with this going on, and were it not for some quirk of fate, I would be dead. I am an eternal optimist, and I believe in the good of people. I believe there may be something I can do with them. I have wondered if it perhaps would be a joke of God for me to die, and for them to get stuck with this...then I have no idea what would happen to you all, but it might fit if it were a way to take away their power and prevent global domination (or it might go the other way, I am uncertain). I'm not sure if this is the way it will play out, we'll see, but if you could know more first hand what I've been through, you'd know death is something I am, more than, familiar with.
I appreciate you being brave enough to post that Hogosha, and admitting that you are not afraid either. That is something a therapist, for example, wouldn't be able to tell me, instead I'd get ****.
I think there is a tendency of lightworkers to be a bit too "passive". I understand there may be a "rule" not to intervene in other people's karma or "dramas", or perhaps a law that states that what is needed to manifest will manifest, and that there should be no worries as to how God's plan will unfold. But to me, rule #1 is there are always exceptions. You don't understand, I can't just kill myself, yet, knowing that what I do may impact the fate of the planet, not that easily. And, how do you not know, that it is not fate that you have me here, calling a cry for urgency, telling you that you cannot just sit idly by, this time, because what will manifest will manifest and if I incite a certain reaction for you to react, then that is part of "the divine plan", so that we can break the rule once and actually get to work to save the planet? This is the dawning of a whole new age, anything is possible.
Whenever something like this happens, there is always a possibility of ego involvement. For example, if I did die, because I may have caused you "trouble", there might be a little ego involvement there, a little, "I told you so", and this is not the world of the future I envision. We will be able to analyze material without judgement, fear, or attachment. Discussion forums in the future won't have snyde little comments, and I am not blaming anyone, I'm glad I haven't gotten them here. People will act without ego, without fear, to do what needs to be done both in their own lives and, I believe, in connection with others as well, to benefit their fellow Man. Things will be done together. There will be no more negative judgement of the illuminati, because it will be seen that they were playing a role that was necessary in the grand scheme. All things will be viewed from a place of infinite compassion. There will be no need for fear, because we will all have each others backs. When someone is wrong about something, or when someone comes out the wrong way about something, people will no longer feel a benefit in "grabbing" a piece of their energy, because they will be well with themselves, and they will be able to see the reason the person is acting as they are; trust that there is a reason. You might say that my threads are here by fate to help awaken you to detach from your ego. To get past all the doubts and jokes, I had to barge in here, as, "The Chariot". It is important that people on forums like these have this absence of ego quality, so that as others awaken they can assist in assimilating them into higher consciousness.
Thanks again for the responses. For right now, I will be right here, and I will basically take lawlessline's advice; except I will not "complete" my life just yet, but that is one possibility.
There is also a girl at the other side of this that I have grown close to. I do not want to leave her. There are many factors. I believe God's will will be done, regardless, and so I await to see what the future holds.
What I should have done is created a thread about her to gather support and love for her. You don't understand what she's been through. Probably too late now for this forum. I know you all don't respond to fear. I couldn't live without giving a concrete explanation to my quake thread. Threads like this obviously aren't to gather popularity, but vent. Oh well.
If any of you knows of any lightworkers or highly awakened people who might be able to counsel someone, without fear, who is in DIRECT contact and has GREAT influence over the people in power, let me know.
With deep gratitude for you all,
Chariot