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Old 09-16-2009, 07:46 AM   #190
Swanny
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Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: The Shire of Wilt
Posts: 2,889
Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

1. Teaching maths in 1970

A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100.

His cost of production is 4/5 of the price.

What is his profit?

2. Teaching Maths In 1980

A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100.

His cost of production is 80% of the price.

What is his profit?

3. Teaching Maths In 1990

A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100.

His cost of production is £80.

How much was his profit?


4. Teaching Maths In 2000

A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100.

His cost of production is £80 and his profit is £20.

Your assignment: Underline the number 20.


5. Teaching Maths In 2005

A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is selfish and
inconsiderate and cares nothing for the habit of animals or the
preservation of our woodlands. Your assignment: Discuss how the birds
and squirrels might feel as the logger cut down their homes just for a
measly profit of £20.


6. Teaching Maths In 2009

A logger is arrested for trying to cut down a tree in case it may be
offensive to Muslims or other religious groups not consulted in the
felling licence. He is also fined a £100 as his chainsaw is in breach
of Health and Safety legislation as it deemed too dangerous and could cut
something. He has used the chainsaw for over 20 years without incident
however he does not have the correct certificate of competence and is
therefore considered to be a recidivist and habitual criminal. His DNA
is sampled and his details circulated throughout all government agencies.
He protests and is taken to court and fined another £100 because he is
such an easy target. When he is released he returns t o find Gypsies have
cut down half his wood to build a camp on his land. He tries to throw them
off but is arrested, prosecuted for harassing an ethnic minority,
imprisoned and fined a further £100. While he is in jail the Gypsies cut down the
rest of his wood and sell it on the black market for £100 cash. They also have a
leaving BBQ of squirrel and pheasant and depart leaving behind
several tonnes of rubbish and asbestos sheeting. The forester on release
is warned that failure to clear the fly tipped rubbish immediately at his
own cost is an offence. He complains and is arrested for environmental
pollution, breach of the peace and invoiced £12,000 plus VAT for safe
disposal costs by a regulated government contractor.


Your assignment: How many times is the logger going to have to be
arrested and fined before he realises that he is never going to make £20
profit by hard work, give up, sign on to the dole and live off the state for the rest of his life?

7. Teaching Maths In 2010

A logger doesn’t sell a lorry load of timber because he can’t get a loan
to buy a new lorry because his bank has spent all his and their money
on a derivative of securitised debt related to sub- prime mortgages in
Alabama and lost the lot with only some government money left to pay a few
million pound bonuses to their senior directors and the traders who made
the biggest losses.
The logger struggles to pay the £1,200 road tax on his old lorry however,
as it was built in the 1970s it no longer meets the emissions regulations
and he is forced to scrap it.
Some Bulgarian loggers buy the lorry from the scrap merchant and put it
back on the road. They undercut everyone on price for haulage and send
their cash back home, while claiming unemployment for themselves and
their relatives. If questioned they speak no English and it is easier to
deport them at the governments expense. Following their holiday back home
they return to the UKwith different names and fresh girls and start again.

The logger protests, is accused of being a bigoted racist and as his name
is on the side of his old lorry he is forced to pay £1,500 registration
fees as a gang master.

The Government borrows more money to pay more to the bankers as bonuses
are not cheap. The parliamentarians feel they are missing out and claim
the difference on expenses and allowances.

You do the maths.

8. Teaching Maths 2017

أ المسجل تبيع حموله شاحنة من الخشب من اجل 100 دولار . صاحب تكلفة
الانت =D 8 ج
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