[Brinty]

This is an old one, but a good one . . . .

Three women were driving home after a day's golf when their car left the road on a bend, went through the guard rail and over a cliff. There were no survivors.

St Peter welcomed them at the Pearly Gates and told them that they were free to do as they chose without restrictions - the only rule was that they were to be careful not to step on any ducks. When they looked about, they saw that there were a lot of ducks waddling around. "If you step on one," says St Peter, "you will suffer a terrible fate - so take care."

The three women were careful to avoid the ducks but, after a week, one of them stepped on one. Within a split second St Peter appeared and told the culprit, "You were warned about the consequences of stepping on a duck and now you are about to suffer your permanent punishment. From now on, you will be shackled to the ugliest man in Heaven for the whole of eternity."

The poor woman was lead off sobbing and the remaining two were extra careful from then on. It was about six months later that the second woman stepped on a duck. In an instant St Peter appeared and she was shackled to the ugliest man you could imagine.

Well, the remaining woman was extremely careful after that. She had been in Heaven about two years without stepping on a duck when one day St Peter appeared in the company of the most handsome man she had ever set eyes on. He walked up to the woman and shackled her to this beautiful, muscular man.

She was stunned, what a magnificent example of manhood he was. She was so amazed at her good fortune she exclaimed out loud, "What in Heaven have I done to deserve this?"

The man replied, "I don't know about you, but I stepped on a duck."