[alyscat]

Henners, Hi!

I had a similar question, which I asked my teacher, during a lecture back in 2008. His response:

You make up your mind (for you) and let (them) make up their mind for them.

It was a "Changes" lecture in Miami and people right and left were being given the same answer. (And if there is one place you don't want to be in the upcoming scenario, it's probably on the coast in Florida). "My husband doesn't believe in this, what should I do?" "My adult children don't want to relocate, what should I do?"

My question was "what to do with my father, for whom I'm pretty much a primary caregiver, and who doesn't want to move, and also, will I have the money" to do it?

I was told, "you make up your mind, he will make up his."

So I did. I knew I had to relocate, so I went ahead and planned for that and then did. Dad stayed in Fla, came down with pneumonia 2 weeks after I left, ended up housebound for 6 weeks, and finally came to realize he needed to have someone take care of him. So, he decided to move up here to be near me. And also within 3 months of that meeting, I realized how I could arrange my finances to accomplish my other goals, what with the sale of my house and cashing in retirement.

As "selfish" as it seems, you need to take care of you first so there will be something there to take care of others.

FWIW, this is my experience.
alys