WOW! Can I relate to all this. I've also had, and still have experiences of these kinds for vertually my lifetime. Lately, getting pretty intense again. I recently did some reverse speach in a new avenue of searching for the block I keep hitting and it came back very, very disturbing. It even told me "I'm sure your fears psycic."
I know I have a strong spirit and trust my higher being, however, I am being kept from connecting to it fully. Very draining and intense sucking in my solar plex chakra. Even now as I write this I feel shaky and squirmy inside.
My life has been a constant struggle and search for comfort. Not to be a sob story, but I am very tired and I know that is this energies intention. Physically and spiritually. Years back it even threatened me in dreams, attacking my daughter if I did not comply. She saw once when she was about 7 or 8, a dark cloud floating over my head while I was laying on the sofa. She's 26 now by the way. "smile"
Whales, Dolphins and Dragonflies have been a great help as well as my cats. They keep love in my heart and give me a sense of purpose. Even though I have no idea what that is. Love is indeed the strongest force.
Man, I could go on for hours on my experiences. But, I have to go to work here soon. So grateful to find this thread though. A place to express. And perhaps find some loving assistance. I see alot of that here. Thank you.
I agree with the thought form idea as well. However, with a darkness thats been hanging around for a lifetime, perhaps even hereditary, thoughts I find are even minipulated. I find myself struggling at times to spit out a strange, ugly thought that was not mine and refocus on light. It is tiresome indeed. But, a worrior I am.
Meditations, cleansings, healings, shamanic work on and on, I still hit a wall. A block that throws me in a wheeping sadness that is indeed in a pcycic realm. I have no mental clarity of where it comes from. My soul knows something important and I am beeing kept from it.
The time is NOW! I have to break free now. I will ivestigate some of the suggestions I see here for Ruby. You are a loving bunch. If anyone has any personal feeling or intuition here, please do share. Nice to have people to talk to. I've been quite alone. Which I believe is time to end also.
Cheers and Blessings everyone...