[Humble Janitor]

Originally Posted by Steve_A

Hi Humble Janitor,

Many times when a person explains their problem, they give the answer to their problem themselves.

You, as much as what you have said, are no exception.

There are several things which you have said that could explain why these things appear to be happening and make you feel frustrated.

Before I go into what you have said, we need to understand that we are all different, and sometimes people can be 'put off' by, or have preconceptions of those differences. It's important that we don't resent them for thinking like they do.

Once we are aware of that, half the problem is solved, even if we don't understand why.

Many people react differently under stress and you mentioned that your co-workers have no room for faliure. Does that mean they are being pressured by the company to be spot on every time? Does that create unnecessary stress?

I guess you could word it that way. They do have a very high set of standards for cleaning that seem to be nothing short of insane to me. There's no way that dust accumulates every single day in this building and yet, we are expected to dust frequently. I believe in tackling what's most important and what will stand out the most in an inspection. Everyone else i too preoccupied with what will happen if the building fails an inspection. The failure to relax actually creates plenty of unnecessary stress and tension.

I also should mention that my co-workers are Vietnamese and Bosnian respectively. They have very different ideas of what constitutes "good work" and do not even know how to give praise whenever I have done my job correctly. The boss is an ex-military type that treats us like his "grunts" with his atttiude and refusal to listen to our needs (at least from my experience so far).

You mention that you are partially deaf. Were you employed as a regular Joe or were you employed using the law of a 'special needs person'? I'm not sure how it is in the States, but in the UK and here in Brazil companies are obliged to hire a number of special needs people.

If this is your case, what do your co-workers think about it? Do they think you are being unfairly protected by the law?

They don't do that around here. As far as I know, I was hired for my abilities and experience.

It can be difficult to find a job but there's no such quota system in place that I know of.

In fact, despite the ADA, there are still workplaces that will not hire deaf people for fear of expenses required for interpreters and other adjustments. It is why I am doing custodial work. I have not been able to find anything better than this just YET.

If this is the case what do they think about your second job being a DJ?

If this is not the case, are you a well known DJ? Do they resent a certain celebrity staus that you might have?

I have not mentioned it because the boss seems to take issue with my deafness and his reaction to my ability to speak and listen to music was not a good reaction. I don't want to mention it.

I'm not even a regular DJ yet. That takes hard work and I have been busting my **** off to get a regular spot to a point where I am not going to let anything get in the way of it, not even a holiday and certainly not overtime.

I used to be a very money-centric person. I worked TOO hard and it nearly destroyed me. At my old job, I worked 40 hours of overtime in one week. It was insane and I do not wish to go back to that.

I do not have a NEED for the money now like I did before. I am actually quite comfortable with my finances.

You say that your friends are preocupied in their own lives. This shows a sign of the times and it's just as important that you become an 'ear' for them as much as it does for them to become an ear for you.

It could be good to ask them questions about their lives and allow them to let off steam too. That sometimes gives them the energy to allow you to let off steam also.

Yeah I kind of need to improve at that. I didn't know what to say when a friend lost her job, though our friendship has been at odds for other reasons. Otherwise, I try to be an ear for others.

I try to just back off and show some respect for their busy lives. They have given a lot to me and I don't have a problem. I just can't talk about certain things.

Don't forget, you yourself have changed in your life, putting in extra hours at college which will change your priorities to some degree. Also as you move from group to group (co-workers, friends, college etc.) you will be taking a little of the stress / sadness / happiness / humour with you from the last one.

Yeah, I have friends that have trouble letting go of the way they know me because I no longer have time to have a few pints with them due to everything that I'm trying to do. You lose one aspect and gain another and that's one aspect that I never asked to let go of. I certainly hope there is forgiveness and not resentment from friends.

One of the best books I have ever read was written in 1929 by a chap called Napolean Hill. The book is called 'Think and Grow Rich'. This book is the daddy of all self help / awareness / how to be succesful books and is free on the internet as an e-book, just google 'think and grow rich free'.

Once you have read that book your life will take on another meaning. Beleive me. You will read it and before the last page, the penny will drop and you will scream "Eureka!".

Best regards,

Steve

I am already the richest man I know. I seemingly have the ability to make things happen that I could not do before. Whatever it is that I have gained, I cannot afford to lose it. It has taken years to get to this point.