Czymra,
I do think there are some good, ethical, experienced teachers out there for various things; not gurus from my experience, but good teachers. I've studied with different people and when I outgrew them, they told me so, and I moved on. I think we already have our own teacher - the Soul Self - the eternal Self - that is directly connected to the Source.
I love addressing your question, bc it's what I do and enjoy... Here goes, for what it is worth:
RE:
What I am seeking is a knowing of myself. I'm working on myself emotionally every day and have come SO FAR in the last half year. It's amazing. In fact, it's quite funny you'd reply here because, I don't quite know how to put it, yesterday or so, things around me became alive and organic,
#Do you know that people can study and meditate their whole lives and never come to this basic but supreme knowing? That everything and all beings are connected. For students, often the first awareness is mental...then it becomes emotional, then it moves to a level of 'feeling.' It then moves to a causal and spiritual levels, etc. and can be fully integrated within your being. When we truly feel the experience of this connection, this state of being, we can then 'know' on all levels of our being. I think these initial types of realizations are happening to people all around the world.
#This is an exciting time for you; but then with this initial realization we begin to see that we indeed have a responsibility to everyone and everything. The final result of living as if we are connected/part of the whole...is that we can then begin to ask if we are ready to live this way, every minute of every day...are we connected, or are we still critical of family, government, etc? I'm not saying we have no discernment, but where is the crux of our being? In a state of 'love,' or in a state of fear or anger? It is a long road.
(Really, I sat on the tube and my mind suddenly interpreted the train carriage as a living moving cave, like an organism [of flesh if you will, that's actually it but that sounds yuck, ne?])
It's a little too intellectual still at the moment but hey, it's a comin!
##It's where you need to be. All good
"...and I understood that I'm no longer me among others, I've always believed that the world is my mirror, but suddenly it's like I know that what's 'out there' IS me and it allows me to see myself even in what is usually most repelling and frightening.
#This sense of Self-transparency is classic of the process of awakening. Often dreams at this juncture will feature destruction, the calcionato of fires, purification, skeletons, goo, filth. This is good in this respect. The question is, how can you balance and integrate the shadow (unconscious) part of you, and allow the illuminated part (conscious) of you to come forth? Many people will say that the shadow is the dark side, but in the awakening process, the shadow serves a purpose...the ego is also really attached to the shadow, so if we try to repress it, it will bear down on us and show its power. One way to pay homage to the shadow and the light is to make art...one easy way is to create a series of mandalas each week and watch how they change.
[I]What I really want to know is about my past lives, lost time and dreams, all that stuff I forgot. At the moment I'm not sure I should, but I'd be curious what I did the other times around. It might shed more light on what I'm here for this time round. [I]
#I would offer this: if you are not sure you should, then keep asking outloud if you should. The great Mystics and Masters have revealed that their old selves were disintegrated...they had been changed, transformed, transfigured. They allow it to happen. They do not grasp the past. In the Shaman's initiation is the death and rebirth. They seem to place their beingness in who they are, not who they used to be.
It might shed more light on what I'm here for this time round.
#Yes, it could. Unless you are experiencing mental, emotional or other pressing problems, you might not be drawn to past life regression. Often dream enactment is powerful to move through blockages. If you feel stuck, both dreamwork and regression can help, though. I've seen it help.
You can start your dreamwork now, if you remember dreams. Write them in the present tense. Do it as soon as you wake up. Record them in a special journal. After a few weeks, go back and read the dream. Underline the messages that will surface. Go back to the dreams periodically, and you will see even more revealed, and underline those sentences, too. This is a multi-dimensional way to work with the psyche. If you need further help, Jungian analysts are very helpful in this regard.
#NorthernSanctuary gave a source for regression via Dolores Cannon, though she comes from a particular school of thought, re ETs, etc.
It might shed more light on what I'm here for this time round.
#So another question you have is what is your purpose. You are already living one of them. Maybe you could ask, "Spirit, will you guide me to experience my life purpose?" And see what comes up.
Then again, all I can do is concentrate even more to be aware.
We cannot think our way, with the brain alone, to awareness. We can, however, catch ourselves asleep and refocus with the mind. As soon as you find yourself ruminating, being angry or fearful, you can inwardly acknowledge that, stop doing that, and let it go, and then 'reconnect." One of the first ways to stay aware is to acknowledge when we are not.
#Trained as a psychotherapist, I can tell you that some people don't necessarily get helped by simply knowing Why...They are often more helped by knowing why (bringing awareness in), but then shifting behavior and thought. Because you can know why but keep doing the same stupid behavior that gets you into trouble. This is where awareness is key - and how consistency in healthy action and choice can help us heal.
#This path is a lifelong one...I know I am still working on it, too. I had some anger come up at a family member, and I was disappointed in my lack of compassion at something I said...I really thought I was beyond that reaction. Nope. I used that experience as a measuring tool. I asked for help in this regard, and the very next morning, awoke with no anger at all. Sometimes it works