I think you're very right here. I never really had a single teacher for any thing.
Dakini, thanks for coming in. I have been feeling like I'm the one who asks all the questions no one else asks for some time.
What I am seeking is a knowing of myself. I'm working on myself emotionally every day and have come SO FAR in the last half year. It's amazing. In fact, it's quite funny you'd reply here because, I don't quite know how to put it, yesterday or so, things around me became alive and organic, and I understood that I'm no longer me among others, I've always believed that the world is my mirror, but suddenly it's like I know that what's 'out there' IS me and it allows me to see myself even in what is usually most repelling and frightening.
(Really, I sat on the tube and my mind suddenly interpreted the train carriage as a living moving cave, like an organism [of flesh if you will, that's actually it but that sounds yuck, ne?])
It's a little too intellectual still at the moment
but hey, it's a comin!
What I really want to know is about my past lives, lost time and dreams, all that stuff I forgot. At the moment I'm not sure I should, but I'd be curious what I did the other times around. It might shed more light on what I'm here for this time round.
Then again, all I can do is concentrate even more to be aware.