[lock'N'load]

Thank you exchanger for going to the trouble of writing that out in so much detail, i appreciate that. And i will try it, and i'll let you know how i get on.
You made a lot of sense, but i'll have to read through it a few more times to get a better grasp.

Captain obvious : I like to help people, it makes me happy when i make other people happy. I like to make my girlfriend happy, watching joy in her eyes is something that just gives me a buzz.

I understand what you are saying, which is why ive chosen my career path. And i'll be starting on that journey next month, so hopefully it will bring me to where i need to be. I suppose ive been stagnant lately and have harboured a lot of hatred in my heart.. not my own hatred but someone elses, i had to learn how to hate .. i learned that off my brother as a defensive mechanism and i really wish i didnt.