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THESE AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES ARE GREAT, they all seemed to work!
AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP. MEN, AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT BY USING THE SINK. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. YOU'LL BE TOO AFRAID TO COUGH. YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE - WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN'T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40. IF IT SHOULDN'T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE. IF YOU CAN'T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU'VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM. DAILY THOUGHT: SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES - NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS |
Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be
A doctor in Dublin wanted to get off work and go fishing, so he approached his assistant
"Murphy, I am going fishing tomorrow and don't want to close the clinic. I want you to take care of the clinic and take care of all me patients". "Yes, sir!" answers Murphy. The doctor goes fishing and returns the following day and asks: "So, Murphy, how was your day?" Murphy told him that he took care of three patients. "The first one had a headache so he did, so I gave him Paracetamol." "Bravo Murphy lad, and the second one?" asks the doctor. "The second one had indigestion and I gave him Gaviscon, so I did sir" says Murphy. "Bravo, bravo! You're good at this and what about the third one?" asks the doctor. "Sir, I was sitting here and suddenly the door flies open and a young gorgeous woman bursts in so she does. Like a bolt outta the blue, she tears off her clothes, taking off everything including her bra and her panties and lies down on the table, spreading her legs and shouts: 'HELP ME for the love of St Patrick! For five years I have not seen any man!'" "Tunderin' lard Jesus Murphy, what did you do?" asks the doctor. "I put drops in her eyes." |
Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be
Wanna laught your socks off :lol3::naughty::lmfao:go you
u tube fknnewz :lmao::lmao::lmao: to rude for here me thinks :roll1::roll1::roll1: |
Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be
I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.:winksmiley02:
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u tube ... fknnewz .....HILLARIOUS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:roll1::roll1::roll1: |
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Teacher . Winne name one important
thing they have today they didnt have 10 yrs ago Winne ME ! |
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Teacher what do you call a person ..
who keeps on talking when no one else is interested ? Harold ; a teacher ....:roftl: |
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so where are all you funny guys :zip: (bring back the balance we need more funnis pllllleeeeezzze:wink2: or i will carry on regardles :winksmiley02:.... |
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AHA, a redhead bathing with the alien from the accompanying photo and both caught by surprise.
Here's a funny that appeared in my email box . . . . . While in China, a man is very sexually promiscuous and does not use a condom all the time he is there. A week after arriving back home in the States, he wakes one morning to find his penis covered with bright green and purple spots. Horrified, he immediately goes to see a doctor. The doctor, never having seen anything like this before, orders some tests and tells the man to return in two days for the results. The man returns a couple of days later and the doctor says, 'I've got bad news for you, you've contracted Mongolian VD. It's very rare and almost unheard of here, we know very little about it.' The man looks a little perplexed and says, 'Well, give me a shot or something and fix me up, Doc.' The doctor answers, 'I'm sorry, there's no known cure. We're going to have to amputate your penis.' The man screams in horror, 'Absolutely not! I want a second opinion.' The doctor replies, 'Well, it's your choice. Go ahead, if you want but surgery is your only choice.' The next day, the man seeks out a Chinese doctor, figuring that he'll know more about the disease. The Chinese doctor examines his penis and proclaims, 'Ah, yes, Mongolian VD. Vewy ware disease.' The guy says to the doctor, 'Yeah, yeah, I already know that but what can we do? My American doctor wants to operate and amputate my penis!' The Chinese doctor shakes his head and laughs. 'Stupid American docttah, always want to opawate. Make more money dat way. No need to amputate!' Oh, Thank God!' the man replies. 'Yes,' says the Chinese doctor, 'wait two weeks. Faw off by itself!' |
Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be
Hello brothers and sisters, I know you have a sense of humour...
YouTube - Project Camelot interviews Feardia First post since it went to subs, enjoy. Can't embed youtube yet :) |
Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be
Hi Feardia. Really great to see you posting again.:original:
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Wonderful interview feardia :thumb_yello: Kerry won't take my calls :sad: I had a similiar experience leaving a local watering hole :lmao: http://uforestaurant.com/godeyes.jpg |
Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be
Here is a link to a vid where the SPCA are showing 2 dogs that are up for adoption. Watch what the dogs do......its hilarious.
http://ca.video.yahoo.com/watch/5781173/15139258 |
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Thank you waitingin...for that video...really funny....
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Waiting For A Haircut
A guy sticks his head into a barber shop and asks, "How long before I can get a haircut?" The barber looks around the shop and says, "About 2 hours." The guy leaves. A few days later the same guy sticks his head in the door and asks, " How long before I can get a haircut?" The barber looks around at the shop full of customers and says, "About 3 hours." The guy leaves. A week later the same guy sticks his head in the shop and asks, "How long before I can get a haircut?" The barber looks around the shop and says, "About an hour and a half." The guy leaves. The barber who is intrigued by this time, looks over at a friend in the shop and says, "Hey, Bill. Follow that guy and see where he goes." A little while later, Bill comes back into the shop, laughing hysterically. The barber asks, "Bill, where did he go when he left here?" Bill looks up, tears in his eyes and says, "Your house." |
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"... now, we all know where the initials J.C. stand for, don't we?" the interviewer retoricly asked me.
"Wait," I said, "Let me guess... Joan Collins, Joe Cocker, Jackie Chan, John Cleese, James Caan, Johan Cruijff, Jimmy Connors, John Cale, Johnny Cash, James Cook, John Coltrane, Jimmy Carter, Joe Colombo, Jim Carrey, Jacques Cousteau, Jose Carreras, Julius Ceasar, John Carpenter, James Cagney, Jimmy Cliff, Jennifer Capriati, John Cage, James Coburn, Joe Castellano, Johnny Carson,Jacques Chirac, Julien Clerc, Jackie Cornell, Julie Covington, Jim Croce, Judy Clag, John Calderon, Jack Charlton, Jarvis Cocker, Julian Cope, Jim Capaldi, June Carter, Jane Campion, Jackie Collins and last but not least, Jean Cocteau! Did I miss anybody?" |
Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be
Yea you missed my mate John Comely :original:
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I wasn't finished yet, Swanny.
"... John Comely..." |
Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be
In Pharmacology, all drugs have two names, a trade name and generic name. For example, the trade name of Tylenol also has a generic name of Acetaminophen. Aleve is also called Naproxen. Amoxil is also called Amoxicillin and Advil is also called Ibuprofen. The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra. After careful consideration by a team of government experts, it recently announced that it has settled on the generic name of Mycoxafloppin. Also considered were Mycoxafailin, Mydixadrupin, Mydixarizin, Dixafix, and of course, Ibepokin. Pfizer Corp announced today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer. It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one. Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink, and it gives new meaning to the names of 'cocktails', 'highballs' and just a good old-fashioned 'stiff drink'. Pepsi will market the new concoction by the name of: 'MOUNT & DO'. Thought for the day: There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely NO recollection of what to do with them. |
Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be
Judy....Toooooo funny. You win the award.
:lmao: |
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What's the difference between a biitch and a hoar?
A hoar will phock anyone. A biitch will phock anyone but you. |
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A secreatary to her boss: "Sir, can I use your dictaphone?"
The boss to his secretary:"Couldn't you just use your finger?" |
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It's a Pepper that looks like a Mr. Happy... Don't believe Me.
I had someone give me several peter peppers from his garden in Conyers, GA. You can't eat 'em. Too hot! If you cut a tiny sliver on your cutting board, just to taste, you will probably die. If some of the juice from the cut pepper gets on your hands, just one molecule on your tongue will make you wish you were never born. Ai yi yi |
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"What are you going to do today?"
- "Nothing." - "You did that yesterday." - " I know, but I haven't finished yet." |
Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be
AN IRISH GHOST STORY This story happened a while ago in Dublin , and even though it sounds like an Alfred Hitchcock tale, it's true. John Bradford, a Dublin University student, was on the side of the road hitchhiking on a very dark night and in the midst of a big storm. The night was rolling on and no car went by. The storm was so strong he could hardly see a few feet ahead of him. Suddenly, he saw a car slowly coming towards him and stopped. John, desperate for shelter and without thinking about it, got into the car and closed the door.... only to realize there was nobody behind the wheel and the engine wasn't on. The car started moving slowly. John looked at the road ahead and saw a curve approaching. Scared, he started to pray, begging for his life. Then, just before the car hit the curve, a hand appeared out of nowhere through the window, and turned the wheel. John, paralyzed with terror, watched as the hand came through the window, but never touched or harmed him. Shortly thereafter, John saw the lights of a pub appear down the road, so, gathering strength, he jumped out of the car and ran to it. Wet and out of breath, he rushed inside and started telling everybody about the horrible experience he had just had. A silence enveloped the pub when everybody realized he was crying… and wasn't drunk. Suddenly, the door opened, and two other people walked in from the dark and stormy night. They, like John, were also soaked and out of breath. Looking around, and seeing John Bradford sobbing at the bar, one said to the other..... >>> >> >>> >>> 'Look Paddy..... there's that fecking idiot that got in the car while we were pushing it!!!!' |
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